Hello.

I wanted to take a short nap at 4 today, but I was oblivious to the alarm. At 6, cos I locked the house, my mum was stuck outside for a while for I was still sleeping!! Haha nicolette says I'm a horror ): Still in a state of shock k!

Anyway, I just came to learn about Ryan White. He may have passed away quite long ago..but as I watched a video of tribute to him, couldn't help but felt tears swelling up in my eyes.

Here's some background info about Ryan White:
A hemophiliac, he became infected with HIV from a contaminated blood treatment and, when diagnosed in 1984, was given six months to live. Though doctors said he posed no risk to other students, AIDS was poorly understood at the time, and when White tried to return to school, many parents and teachers in Kokomo rallied against his attendance. A lengthy legal battle with the school system ensued, and media coverage of the struggle made White into a national celebrity and spokesman for AIDS research and public education. Surprising his doctors, White lived five years longer than predicted and died in April 1990, shortly before he would have completed high school.

Ryan White may have passed away at a tender age, but I feel he has led a worthy life.
He may be diagnosed with the commonly feared AIDS, but he managed to be on the 'greener side' of it, instead becoming an AIDS spokesperson.
He may have been predicted to live for just half a year, but instead he lived for 5 years, it just seems like god has specially given him a longer life to fulfil his life to the fullest extent.
He must have been in great agony, for a child to suffer from AIDS, but the videos of him I see always show him smiling, he truly deserves to be the spokesperson.

When I hear these two words "pass away", actually the true meaning of it doesn't really boil down to me. They'd just go in & out, like 'oh someone died'. I think it maybe cos no one around me has passed away before..my 3 grandparents all passed away before I was even borned, my gong gong(dad's dad) passed away when I was young. Now that I still have my mum's mum still around, though we can't communicate with each other cos we speak different languages, I'm still thankful for her presence.
I can't imagine what it'd be like, to have someone by your side or even just an acquaintance die before your eyes.. Would you feel very empty & immensely devastated by the loss of his/her presence? Will the loss be too much to take?
When I was younger, I had a dream that I was best friends with this giraffe & some other animals. Suddenly, the giraffe started dying for no reason & I still remember how badly I was crying, crying for it not to go, crying for the pain it may be facing, crying cos I love it/him/her..
I'm sorry if I sound immature..but I really wonder.

God has made the world a simple place to live from the start. Just living with nature, the basic things like getting married, living in a happy family.. Isn't it all just very relaxing & delightful?
Now everyone just cares about capability, power, wealth & all the stupid stuff..
Honestly, I'd rather be borned in Mongolia/some village/etc, so long as my family & I can tide over the poverty (if any) & just be with our family with happiness, I think I'd never regret but yet feel blessed!! Whoohoo.

oh my gosh, I just realised Ryan White passed away on my mum's birthday, in the year my brother was borned )):

It may be all too late, but deep down my heart's admiration & respect for you, Ryan White.
RIP Ryan White, RIP Michael Jackson.

Anyway, this goes out to sharon! Hey sharon, I may not be in your shoes..for I'm not in your current situation, I can't say I know exactly how you feel. But I do care about your feelings & it's sad not seeing you happy ): I may not be the best person to pour out your feelings to, nor am I very good at consoling, but I'm willing to share one shoe with you, I'll be here for you, always! ♥


Love you baby tay!!!